By Kamala Sarup
August 11, 2007
Now my tears come up easily, perhaps it is due to love and remembrance that I do you. What is Freedom, Justice, Peace And love? Why does it have pain the heart? What is true is that in a so long period you are acquaint with my heart and respect it truly.
What ties you and me is nothing but the sense of love, freedom, justice and my beautiful land. In my remembrance there is confidence, naturalness and respect. I have spread your sense of good feel over my confidence. I have knitted your goodwill in the rings of my heart.
I feel you, while I am in the U.S. (a land of opportunity, A great country), ‘I am loving you in your sense , perhaps I can’t . I keep the meaning of love differently.
I can’t agree in what purpose and sense others are taking it – widely or narrowly ‘ . I do agree with you. But what is true is that there is no artificiality in peace. Nepal we love is a permanent theme , it is immortal, it is justice for the people. I too do not believe in such love which is performed to mean.
In fact, I love your feelings, ways of surviving and dedication. The another name of our life is present I wish to long this present happily with you.
Our feelings are scattered , the hearts are wondering and we are becoming like the friends of journey who disperse with no promise. It is I who to say I hate terrorism, I hate violence. It might be the clue of our relation that stands in my believe, the pray of our success.
For me, my motherland is enough which I declared earlier. Love doesn’t count profit . If it is not only a proverb then my love is unselfish. I have given you nothing except good wishes and love and want to see you a beautiful nation on the earth. I have offered love and belief keeping nothing in me.
Among the countless wants, my wants are limited which I have already exposed that is peace, no violence in my motherland. My heart wishes to sing a song, compose a poem, black and white a story of love by heart . But, this path is not clear. So many obstacles are lying on the way. Perhaps, no time and way to overcome it. I wish to build a history of our Nation.
Let’s forward to establish a history of our friendship. It not for us, it might be the pillar for coming generation. In your absence too , I can not lead the life passively . I am always ready to fight the battle of peace because its another name its worship . Such confidence is already developed insight me. Whatever you may think I can’t allow to lose the honesty of peace. These are my clarification which I dare to put forward . I am fighting for that truth . Am I wrong in my conclusion ?
The another name of the nation is struggle . The days are bright but nights are dark. I am in such a boat which I can neither row nor leave in the river. I am feeling inner humanitarian pain, a deep hurt . I accept willingly thinking it as compulsory fact. Terrorism hurts me. Violence stands for sorrow and happiness. In my part, there is sorrow only. Mother Nepal, you are the light of our life. Without you, the life is dark . You are our destination. So, I dare to walk in the dark.
I also believe, ‘whenever you will be in the extreme feel of love , the pain and sorrow will be wiped out . This is the foundation of our values..
When I feel love for you , the moment becomes the most important moment . The imaginary recalls , so sweet recalls, I never expected . It was sure that the element like you will be lovely, but it would be you, is unexpected, but like the touch of poem , we can keep our love permanent and unbelievable .
This age , the moment of Internet has helped me to be the happiest creature of this world .
The cool breeze is blowing outside. I can see the long ribbon like road to the south of my rented room. The road is busy . It has become my duty to look up the busy road, the road is a road . It does not loose its track like the heart. This might be the prime feature of road. This is the difference between them. The vehicles and crowd make the road busy. The road never hesitates. How happy the people will be if the heart remains inflexible like the road . I stop to watch the crowd and the kids on the road. The streets are busy and the people in the street are more busy . No body has time to think for others . Indeed, it is good to be busy but what upsets me is that I find myself alone among the people or crowed on the road .
‘What I am feeling now is that our way of thinking, assumption and style of life.
At present, I am watching at the people walking on the road sitting on the bench outside my residence. My hands are busy, there is no cold outside. The environment is sad but attractive. But I am feeling fear in heart . What type of fear – subject less and causeless fear makes me to shiver , I never imagined .
I opened the windows of my room and looked out. I could see the park, the beautiful landscape far off, military parade, the tall trees and the blooming flowers . They provided me peace.
I regard you now Nepali mother. The sky and the hearts should be unified. We are to live for our future and the plans that we are imagining.
In case we fail to meet on peace , we must continue our peaceful efforts. Heart to heart peace is important. If we accept this principle, we will be one step forward in the field of peace, freedom, justice and a real democracy and we can dedicate ourselves for the immortality of our Nepalese children.
*************Nepali Journalist and Story Writer Kamala Sarup is an editor of peacejournalism.com. She is specialising in in-depth reporting and writing on Peace, Anti War, Women, Terrorism, Democracy, and Development. Some of her publications are: Women’s Empowerment (Booklet). Prevention of trafficking in women through media,(Book) Efforts to Prevent Trafficking in for Media Activism (Media research). Two Stories collections. Her interests include international conflict resolution, cross-cultural communication, philosophy, feminism, political, socio-economic and literature. Her current plans are to move on to humanitarian work in conflict areas in the near future. She also is experienced in organizational and community development.